Unicorn Lost

Presents

T	he sun burned down on the weary, plodding adventurers as they made their slow way through a vast wasteland of wind-gnarled outcroppings and shingly moraine.

Conversation had died hours ago, replaced by the half-vain struggle to stay awake, and the persistent clinking sound coming from the bulging backpack on Pence's spiny shoulders.

"You'd think there's be a Mickey D's SOMEWHERE around here," Kathy grumbled under her breath. "Or a Starbuck's, even...hell, they're EVERYWHERE back home."

"Surely you don't eat star bucks?" the ferret queen (whose name was Olivia) asked in a breathless gasp. "They're far too beautiful! Nearly as beautiful as unicorns, and twice as rare!"

"Star bucks don't exist," protested Provence, her cheek bumping against her sister's back. "They're just made-up."

"No--they exist," Kamida said, turning around. "I've seen one."

"You're getting at the children, dear," Rebecca whispered, making a slight shushing gesture. "Star bucks existed once, many many years ago...but no one has seen one in a very long time."

Kathy exchanged a sidelong look with Florence.

"No, they do exist," Kamida insisted. "They're huge, with bodies the color of the midnight sky and eyes like great full moons. And in their branching antlers are caught the lights from a hundred glittering stars. They breathe frost and their voice is the roar of the winter wind."

The little chipmunks shuddered and clung together.

Kathy paused in her plodding to click her heels together three times. When nothing happened, she shook her head and resumed her journey with her muzzle nearly brushing the ground.

"You really thought that would work?" Florence asked, raising an eyebrow and the corner of her lip.

"Heck, I'm not sure what's real anymore," Kathy replied. "I figured it was worth a shot."

Elaine rubbed her tummy, which was growling loudly. "You know, I'm almost hungry enough to try that haggis," she grumbled.

"Eww, haggis--that's offal!" winced Provence. Jeanette elbowed her.

Provence punched back. Jeanette slapped her. Elaine pinched Provence.

Kathy stopped, lowered her head, and dumped the lot of them unceremoniously on the ground. "Walking will take your mind off how hungry you are," she sniffed, giving her coat a good shake. As she passed Florence, she added sotto voce, "If I'd wanted kids, I'd'a had 'em myself."

But Florence wasn't listening to her. Her eyes were riveted on the ground, where Kathy's horn had touched the earth a few moments earlier. "Son of a gun," she said, pointing, "will you look at that!"

From where the horn had pierced the ground, a Thing was expanding; a thing white and doughy, rather like a puffball mushroom. It grew larger and larger until it was roughly the size of a bushel basket; then, its surface changed from whitish to brownish, and it shuddered.

"Stand back!" Florence ordered, but it really wasn't necessary; everyone had already dived for cover.

The strange sphere split along its midline and burst open to reveal a sort of blossom that looked exactly like a gigantic pizza. Smelled exactly like a gigantic pizza, too. The thick layer of cheese and sauce was still sizzling. The adventurers stared at it slack jawed for almost a full minute.

"Cool," whispered Provence, her eyes as round as saucers.

Florence scowled and studied the new conundrum.

"Was your unicorn able to do that?" Kathy asked her in an uncertain tone.

"Well...he could draw water from a rock, and make manna in the desert," Florence agreed, scratching under her hat, "but I've never seen him do a pizza."

"Well, this one's not a right and proper unicorn, anyway," Olivia reasoned, rubbing her wrist over her salivating mouth in a very unqueenly manner. "I say it looks and smells right. If you agree, I'd be willing to be the first to sample it, and see if it tastes..."

But she never got the rest of her offer out. With a shout of relief and delight, the others fell upon the magical pizza and were soon engaged in an orgy of scarfing down pizza, awesome to witness.

And the witness standing behind the rock on the wind-carved bluff allowed himself a slight and sinister smile. "Ah," he mused to himself, "we have guests." As he began to pick his way nimbly down the torturous, hidden track. His silver, cloven hooves barely clicking on the stonework.

-page oo33-
written by Nightstar.

Copyright and Credit:
  · Florence from "Freefall" © Mark Stanley.
  · Magic Gardener © Hortmage.
  · Jeanette © Jeanette Isabelle.
  · Kathy from "Carry On" © Kathy Garrison.
  · Kamida © Guest #1.
  · ToraKiyoshi - Writer.
  · White Pony from "Cross Time Cafe" © S.Kidwell.
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